When I talk about wellness, I’m talking about wellness on all levels- mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. I’m talking about a renewed sense of self—one of freedom and joy in all aspects of life. I’m talking about loving yourself so much that the love spills over naturally to touch others who are struggling. This is what wellness means to me. But it wasn’t always like this.

You know the saying “You can’t help others with their oxygen mask if yours is off”? This concept applies to my life beyond airplane flights. It applies to making the choices I know are best for myself, so that I can better help, love, and encourage those around me. Self-care anyone?!

How do I do this?

One way I’m working towards wellness in my life is taking care of my body.

My thought is this: I only have one body; I might as well take the best care of it that I possibly can. If my body is sick and broken, I can’t help or love others around me well. I will be caught up in my pain and sickness, rather than relieving others of theirs.

When I work out (currently limited to swimming, tennis, lifting, my daily morning stretches), I do it with intentionality and purpose. When I start my day with 16 oz of water first thing, my brain feels refreshed and I’m able to think clearer quicker, the dehydration from the night is relieved (you lose a lot of water in the night just through breathing). When I eat meals that are mostly produce and grains over other types of food it’s because I literally feel better after.

There is a greater purpose to taking care of myself physically. Like the airplane oxygen mask analogy, how can I help others if I am not living my best life and making choices that I feel good about? That said, this process, this lifestyle of finding wellness isn’t meant to be rigid and structured. It isn’t all or nothing.

In the past when I missed a workout, over ate, or even forgot drinking those 2 glasses of water first thing in the AM because, life, I used to beat myself up. I used to blame myself. I used to just give up. Somehow, I would jump from keeping a rigid schedule and trying to attain perfection to “screw it, this day is ruined, I might as well not even try.”

Really though, that’s no true wellness life. That all or nothing mindset was destructive.

I’ve learned the hard way to let go a little.

Now, my actions though intentional are not about conquering my body, controlling it, or trying to achieve some sort of physical perfection. Every choice is an act of love. And with the mindset of love over the all or nothing way I used to live, I can truly step into a place of being able to care for and help those around me like I’ve always wanted.

Sometimes I’ll purposefully skip my workout in a day because being is better than doing.

Sometimes like this past Valentine’s Day just a few weeks ago, I’ll eat a loaded crepe for breakfast, where other times I’ll fast and refrain from eating for most of the day.

Sometimes I’ll stick to my usual bedtime knowing I need rest and other times I’ll stay up late because I want to crank out a project.

These choices are no longer All or Nothing.

There is a flow and freedom to letting life happen and giving up the control. This is the start of true wellness.

I’m in a place of not stressing and fretting when things don’t go as planned. I’m in a place of choosing grace and love in every action, being intentional but not rigid. This is new mindset and new way of living is full of life. It’s full of love. And is the best form of wellness I’ve embodied so far in life, I think.

I hope where you are at today, you can let go of all or nothing. Let go of man handling your life. Let go of managing every action and embrace the beauty of self love through intentional choices. This brings FREEDOM to choosing to eat more plants in your meals and making your workouts work for you, instead of the other way around. It makes taking time off for family or hobbies refreshing. It means you get to the end result of losing weight, or growing your business, or whatever it is your goals are in this season with grace rather than exhaustion.

Think about it now and drop a comment—what steps can you take in your life to drop the all or nothing mindset for one of wellness and self-care?