Birds Eye View: Finding Healing and Perspective in the Liminal Spaces

Up here in the sky, it all looks so beautiful, simple. There are only about four or five things that really matter: the sky, clouds, water/land below, and the airplane that I’m safe in that’s headed somewhere new. That’s it. That’s all that matters when I’m looking down from these heights. I’ve made it to my flight and now, I’m just… waiting.

I forget the hustle and bustle of traffic; the drama of this morning’s fight between lovers seems pointless; that last message I wanted to respond to or post I wanted to create isn’t even on my mind because I can’t do anything about it while I’m on the plane. I’m right where I’m supposed to be for the moment anyway and here, now in the sky none of it matters. I’m in the liminal space between my starting point and final destination and at last it’s peaceful. I’ve made through the airport obstacles and I’m right where I need to be. At this point, I’m just… waiting for the next thing; the old thing is done and the new one has yet to come.

I like flying because it gets me out and up. Quite literally, but also mentally and emotionally. That in between space of here and there is a time to reflect on the past and maybe leave things behind, but also look forward to the next “thing” that’s coming. It’s a time to let my mind wander and wonder… It’s a time to ask questions like: “What if I had done things differently in the city I just left?” And “Will it be okay when I arrive in the next place?”

I like flying because it gets me out and up. Quite literally, but also mentally and emotionally. That in between space of here and there is a time to reflect on the past and maybe leave things behind, but also look forward to the next “thing” in life that’s coming. It’s a time to let my mind wander and wonder… It’s a time to ask questions like: “What if I had done things differently in the city I just left?” And “Will it be okay when I arrive in the next place?”

Flying (and I’ve sometimes discovered the same to be true when driving long distances solo) is like a purgatory of in-between and for me it’s cathartic. I get to choose how the next moments are going to go in life. The key is being alone in the process because when I’m with other people, friends, family or others, I’m not in a liminal space. When I’m with others I’m already in action doing something like entertaining/talking/connecting. But when I’m alone flying or driving long distances, it’s the in between of here and there and it’s a place where I can unpack “random” questions in life and things start to make sense.

This bird’s eye view for me in a plane offers perspective— was that last fight worth it? Is the rush the get from point A to point B necessary every day? What’s the point of all the hours of work I do daily anyway? Because like I said up here in the sky only a few things are truly important and I think the same is true when it comes to the daily down to earth reality we’re meant to live. Not everything we put our time and energy to everyday really does matter.

This in between of flying makes me realize: sometimes it takes getting OUT of a situation, especially a negative one, that things become clear and focused. I realize there are only a few basic elements that I really want and need in life. Relationships, financial security, joy in hobbies and work, my physical health, my Faith… Getting up and out by flying away helps me look at the things of life that are in front of me from a new space, the liminal space, and that waiting period in between is like a hard reboot/reset.

This in between of flying makes me realize: sometimes it takes getting OUT of a situation, especially a negative one, that things become clear and focused.

With my husband and with my Kingdom business mentors, “Reset” has been an ongoing theme I’ve been learning about for a number of months. Every day… no… every minute we get the chance to move into the liminal space of the in between moments of life and hit the reset button. We get to live between one event and the next and choose how to respond and think 1 by 1, by 1. That last fight doesn’t have to stay with you as you walk into your next work meeting. And your hard work day doesn’t have to take away from family time in the evening, for example.

I will say, I don’t think you have to jump on a plane (or take a long solo drive) to get there, to answer these questions, but for me today, it doesn’t hurt. The reality is I’ve been trying to fix things around me in my personal life hanging on for dear life on a borrowed raft that keeps hitting rocks and rapids I feel like I didn’t choose. I’ve fallen out of the raft a couple of times too. I feel like every time I wanted or could hit that reset button, bam! That raft would collide into another boulder and I’d spend that time barely recovering before another altercation, fight, dramatic event, or financial dilemma.

For me today, flying away means I get to hit the ultimate reset button. I get to get off THAT raft and onto a different one. This is the liminal space. In this transition I get to choose the things I care about most. Freedom, work ethic, safety, relationships, health. Like the air, plane, water, and land when flying in the sky, life gets simpler and easier to see with this perspective— what’s truly important to me today? I get to answer that question in this space.

This is the liminal space. In this transition I get to choose the things I care about most.

The peace that comes from the in between… the decisions and mindsets you get to choose, knowing that the birds eye view IS a liminal space that you can walk into, while still being grounded to earth, if you can’t physically get above the fray, what would that look like for you? What peace do you need and desire? How can you get there?

From experience, doing the same thing over and over in a broken environment just doesn’t work. For me, I had to literally get above and beyond in order to start seeing more clearly even today by flying.

I hope this makes sense— that it’s okay and good to live in the liminal space between events in life and make new decisions and choices/ hit the reset button on the moment you’re in, especially if it feels like my out-of-control raft analogy. For me today a quite literally flying with a Birds Eye View to decide what matters— what makes sense to keep and what makes sense to leave behind as I do a hard reboot and press the reset button in my own life— and brings clarity in the liminal space I’m in on this travel day. Both myself and my family who loves me fully grasp that sometimes it takes a hard move to get there, but I know by flying out of the fray and getting the birds eye view, I’m already on the way of deciding how I’m going to live in this next chapter of life so that the five important elements of life that matter most to me stay with me and last.

So, to wrap up my dear reader friend, do you recognize the liminal spaces in your life that you get to choose how to respond and make decisions between events and circumstances? Are you like me and do you need to fly up and away from a situation to really get clarity? What do you need to do to press the reset button on today? In this minute even? What 4 or 5 elements of life truly matter for you? How will you get them?

These are supper open ended questions, but if you care to comment, go ahead! I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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{October} Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Paula Biggs for Frog Prince Paperie

Photo Cred: Paula Biggs for Frog Prince Paperie

*I originally wrote this post for Wonderfully Made’s blog “Know Your Value” in October.

Have you ever been sick? Have you ever dealt with pain in your body or mind? Have you ever seen a loved one suffer, or maybe even die?

This might sound heavy, but take a deep breath and hang in there with me, because sometimes it is important to talk about heavy things.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Around the nation, people raise awareness about breast cancer, helping to erase stigma for the disease, and encourage early detection of the disease for treatment.

A study and article posted on the American Cancer Society website says that “an estimated 60,290 new cases” of breast cancer in women will be detected in 2015.

As we move through the year and find ourselves in October, it is important that we at Wonderfully Made address the pain and fear that women (and men too) find themselves in when diagnosed with cancer, disease, and illness.

Taking a step back, I want to shift your attention from our world today to go back in time about 2,000 years. Let’s look at one woman who struggled with disease for 12 years before finally finding healing through faith in one Man…

“A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding. She had suffered a great deal from many doctors, and over the years she had spent everything she had to pay them, but she had gotten no better. In fact, she had gotten worse. She had heard about Jesus, so she came up behind him through the crowd and touched his robe. For she thought to herself, ‘if I can just touch his robe, I will be healed.’” (Mark 5: 25-28)

Now I want to take a moment to explain a bit about the culture of Bible times. Women were not considered equal to men, but deferred to them in the patriarchal society that fathers ruled their households, including their wives.

This woman was single, which already puts her in a vulnerable place, and on top of that, for 12 years she sought medical help for a blood hemorrhage. That meant that she spent her entire wealth on doctors to try to get healing, which left her in a worse spot. When this woman met Jesus, she was penniless, sick, and no one was on her side.

She didn’t have medical insurance. She didn’t have a husband to support her. She didn’t have people raising awareness for her. No one started a campaign to helping with the stigma of bleeding for 12 years. She didn’t have specialists she could travel to all over the world, when the doctors she consulted didn’t have an answer.

She was destitute and desperate. And when it came to meeting the most important, popular, and reputable Rabbi of her time, she couldn’t even approach him to tell her story.

She only had one thing, and that was her faith to just touch him. And now, her story is not forgotten.

“Immediately the bleeding stopped, and she could feel in her body that she had been healed of her terrible condition. Jesus realized at once that healing power had gone out from him, so he turned around in the crowd and asked, ‘Who touched my robe?’ His disciples said to him, ‘Look at this crowd pressing around you. How can you ask, “Who touched me?” ’ But he kept on looking around to see who had done it. Then the frightened woman, trembling at the realization of what had happened to her, came and fell to her knees in front of him and told him what she had done. And he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.’” (Mark 5: 29- 34)

Jesus never changes, and to this day He wants to heal our bodies, minds, and souls. He wants us to know Him as our Savior and Healer. He wants to call us daughters and for us to seek Him when we need help, medical or otherwise.

As you think about Breast Cancer Awareness this month, and the many who have suffered breast cancer, are seeking help now, or might be diagnosed later, know that their stories matter. Their stories are important to the Father who sees and knows suffering to the point of healing a penniless, unnamed woman of the Bible so long ago. He calls these women His daughters, and He is ready and able to grant peace and healing.

So have hope, my friends, like this sick woman from the Bible. Keep the faith to look up and out. To not give up getting help. To just grasp on the fringe of His robes that He will save.

Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.” And instantly the woman was made well. ~Mathew 9:22~

If you want to learn more about Breast Cancer Awareness Month, or get involved in a deeper way, Komen is a national non-profit, with other great resources, centered on breast cancer.